If you have considered starting therapy, you have likely also wondered – or even worried – what will my therapist ask me in session? As a therapist I may start with a lot of questions. I want to know all I can about my clients, and all they are willing to share, including things others in their life may not know. As such, the therapeutic relationship is very different than others, especially those of friends and family. As a counselor, I value authenticity in the room – both in myself and in my clients – this openness creates the opportunity to best walk alongside my clients in pursuit of answers to their deepest struggles. I have a few favorite questions that I ask, in order to gain a rich, authentic understanding of my clients.
What stands out about your childhood?
Your early years may have been blissfully wonderful, incredibly painful, or somewhere in between. As you are comfortable sharing, I want to know what you remember, enjoyed most about growing up, or wish that you could move on from. This helps me get a “big picture” view of my clients, and informs me of important details: relatives, hobbies, social life, and points of past strength. You need not be lengthy or rigidly detailed. I ask this question because your past matters to me and our process toward healing together
What has worked for you before with similar issues?
You are the expert about you. It may sound basic, but I want to know what you’ve tried in the past to help cope or deal with your struggles. Have you been to therapy before, tried medication, used exercise, or tried specific techniques? Sometimes, my clients have effective tools buried beneath their present distress, and with a little digging and exploration, prove to be just as beneficial to them now.
How long have you felt this way?
This question is vital to me gathering data about the circumstances around your struggles. Has this been lifelong or did something trigger distress that seems largely ‘out of the blue?’ For some clients, stepping back to look at a timeline of their concerns opens up a chance to connect the dots as to why they are feeling this particular way. It also helps me understand a trajectory of our work together: how might steps toward lasting healing change the direction of that timeline?
What do you want to be different about your life?
Similar to a conversation around goals, this question helps me understand the changes my clients want to make. For some, the idea of life ‘being better’ is too much of a stretch, given how hard things have been, or the negative place they find themselves in. However, looking at how life might be ‘different’ for my clients helps keep us focused on moving in a direction of change.
Where do you feel that in your body/what emotion do you feel right now?
As my clients and I uncover deeper and deeper material together, I find it extremely important to help clients truly connect to themselves – not just talk about something matter-of-factly. I do this by asking questions such as this question, to help clients be in tune with how certain memories, emotions, or thoughts are hitting them in the very present moment. No need to worry if you cannot find the words to describe what you are feeling – or if you do not have a large ‘vocabulary of emotions.’ That is part of my job as a guide in the process.
These are just a few of the questions I ask in session. Ultimately, I am deeply humbled by the opportunity of exploring my clients’ worlds with them, through the use of constant questions and curiosity. I may even ask you to ask yourself some of these same inquiries – to challenge your own thinking and doing in new ways. Similarly, I value your own questions that you bring to session. As we ask more, together, the space for growth and healing widens.
To schedule a therapy appointment with Andrew Denecke, or one of our therapists at LiveFree Counseling, please call 720.465.6180 or click here.
