Trauma can take on many forms. Some are obvious such as abuse, neglect, the death of a loved one, or a severe injury. Other forms of trauma are not as obvious, but can have a lasting impact nonetheless. These may include bullying, experiencing divorce, or rejection by peers.
Children often process trauma differently than adults. Children often do not have the language or words to think or talk through what happened, so it often comes out in their behavior instead. For some, that may be retreating to their room when they were once more social, or long-lasting temper tantrums that come seemingly out of the blue. They might be all over the place emotionally, seemingly riding an emotional roller coaster one minute to the next; or, they may retreat inward and rapidly grow to be quiet and lonely.
Traumatic experiences can impact the brain’s chemistry, which in turn, causes shifts in the body. Many trauma experts believe that one’s body keeps a record of the trauma, storing many aspects of it internally. Children may complain of body aches, a depressed mood, or see them recoil when healthy physical touch is given. Similarly, a traumatized child’s emotions will be disregulated and “off,” as seen in outbursts or self-harming actions meant to distract or numb out from the pain.
If your child has experienced trauma, approach him or her with a loving, listening ear. Establish safety and make it clear that you can be trusted and care about them no matter what. Ask open-ended questions and assure them that you are sticking around to get to the heart of the issue. Few things are as painful as seeing your child, so make sure you are taking care of yourself in the process as well.
If you would like help understanding your child’s trauma or knowing how to walk with your child through the healing process, give us a call at 720.465.6180. You do not have to do this alone. We are here to help.
