Suicide is an extremely terrifying subject for most people, and especially so for parents of young children and teens. Statistics show that, between 2007 and 2015, suicide rates doubled among teen girls and increased by 30% in teen boys. Instances of cyber bullying, personal attacks on social media, and increased isolation from peers seem to be just some of the causes for this alarming change. As I see it, suicidal thoughts arise most often when kids and teens experience a combination of two particular emotions: feeling as though they no longer belong (either in their family, friend group, or earth in general), and the perception that they are a burden to others and that their death would alleviate someone else’s suffering. Those that are struggling with these thoughts and contemplating their own death are enduring immense internal anguish and pain. They are often “out of options” for making life better, and they simply want the suffering to end. I want to address some myths about suicide in kids and teens, and then highlight some warning signs you can be looking for if you suspect your child is struggling with suicide.
One myth is that those who contemplate suicide have no immediate plans for the future or any goals that they want to achieve. In many instances, those who complete suicide have made upcoming plans with family or friends, or they seem to be looking forward to graduation or another milestone. Suicide is still a scary thought for many who are thinking about it, and although they may (and often have) attempted suicide in the past, future plans or even surrounding people are what keep a child from completing. A second myth is that suicide is an impulsive and selfish decision. Rather, as evidence shows, the overwhelming majority of those struggling with suicidal thoughts will make several attempts, increasing in severity or lethality. Many children who are in this place are convinced that their death will spare someone else’s pain: “My family will be better off without me around. I am too much of a burden and a failure for them.” While these thoughts may seem ridiculous and utterly false looking in from the outside, children who are thinking about ending their own life are at an extremely low point.
If you suspect your child is contemplating suicide, here are a few essential warning signs to be looking for: complete loss of interest in social activities or favorite hobbies, evidence of self-harm (cutting, scraping, burning, etc.), persistently depressed or very low mood, isolation from friends and family, and direct mention of “What if I just died?” or “What if I went to bed and never woke up?” This is not a comprehensive list of every possible sign, nor are these guaranteed indications of suicidal intentions, but they are a reasonable place to start. If you are immediately concerned for your child’s safety and worried that they are in present danger or harm, contact your nearest emergency room right away. And if you are seeking therapy for your child to work through their continued struggles, contact us today for a consultation. You are not alone and we at LiveFree Counseling are here to listen and help.
