As we finish the Thanksgiving meal and turn our sights towards Christmas, there is often a mixture of emotions. Christmas can be “the most wonderful time of the year” for many. For others, the quiet thread of stress and sadness weaves its way through the celebrations. Before you start decorating the tree of filling your calendar with Christmas festivities, pause to consider a few ways to handle three of the season’s most common stressors: family, money, and loneliness.
FAMILY
For most, Christmas is associated with family. Family is a source of joy for many. However, if the family patterns and dynamics are unhealthy, it may be a significant stressor. If this is you, prepare yourself ahead of time. Think through typical scenarios and decide how you want to respond. Know your boundaries regarding what you are comfortable with and what you are not. Have someone you can call or talk to if you start to get frustrated. Finally, come up with an exit line if you need to excuse yourself for a time or all together. For instance, “I’m going to get some air. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”
MONEY
Before you start shopping or head out for Black Friday, make a plan for how much you want to spend and then stick to it. Accumulating credit card debt for Christmas will only increase stress in months to come. Think through what your goal is by giving presents. Is it to show the person that you care? Is it to keep up with your peers? Are you meeting unmet needs from childhood? Understanding what drives you allows you to make more thoughtful and informed decisions.
LONELINESS
Though not a popular topic around the Holidays, Christmas can be one of the most difficult and lonely times of the year for some people. The expectation is that “all is merry and bright” only intensifies the loneliness of a spouse that died, a marriage that fell apart, a child that’s rebelling, or the desire to find someone to share the special season with. If that is you, hold on. This will pass. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay not to go to all the holiday parties or put up Christmas decorations. Find someone to talk to when the loneliness gets overwhelming or you are tempted to self-medicate.
“Peace on earth” begins with inner-peace. Put some thought into the season, so you are prepared. Be gentle with yourself and with others in the midst of the joys, festivities, and stressors. May you find peace this Christmas season.
Photo by Ryan CC BY 2.0.
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Published in the Tri-City TRIBUNE (Cozad, Nebraska) on November 27, 2014.
