Athletic competition can sometimes bring out a certain side in kids that is rarely seen elsewhere: heightened adrenaline, the pressure to perform, and the nature of team camaraderie produce all sorts of conflicting emotions in children. You may have noticed your child act angrily – out of character, even – when their team loses a game. He or she might seem overly arrogant or self-centered after their team pulls out a huge upset. They may even talk down about their opponent afterward, insulting his or her skill or style of play. All of these instances are perfect opportunities for you to talk to your child about the importance of good sportsmanship.
Children – boys and girls alike – need places in which they can assert their skill and compete against others their age to better their own abilities, whether it be in the classroom, on the soccer field, or in the swimming pool. Likewise, healthy competition and athleticism produces enormous benefits for your child. Team cooperation, problem solving, physical fitness, and many more positives can be found in sports. However, just as many opportunities exist in which your child may develop poor social skills or the propensity to put others down. It is truly important to watch how your son or daughter interacts with others during competition. Are they supportive of their teammates? Do they criticize, tease, or demean the opponent? How do they react to big wins or losses? Talk to your child later about how the game went and be sure to let them know they are being heard – regardless of the particular emotion they are expressing.
Take things a bit further, too. Explain to your child the importance of respecting one’s opponent, and of showing kindness even in a blow-out victory. Ask them to step into the other person’s shoes and try to empathize with how that other player might be feeling. Indeed, this might be challenging at first. Your child can learn a great deal about humility, compassion, and conflict resolution through sports without much effort. Even though they very well may not see it now, the social skills and ways of communicating they learn through baseball or basketball will follow them one day into the classroom and into a career – for better or for worse.
Your own style of sportsmanship will rub off on your child, too. Be mindful of how you interact with coaches and referees. More often than not, if you are a poor or bitter sport, your child will show some of those same tendencies. There’s no need to sacrifice the drive to win or succeed, but model for your child how to support their teammates, accept defeat, and celebrate a win respectfully. It may even be helpful to watch a professional football or soccer game with your child, pointing out players who are exhibiting maturity and good sportsmanship on the field. Help them identify with and connect to players who make an effort to congratulate the winning team. Most importantly, help them see how one’s attitude towards others on the field relates to the bigger picture of life off the field.
