Ladies, pull up a chair and grab of cup of tea. This one is for you. Let’s talk about the vital, but often over looked topic of finding your voice.
What does it mean to find your voice?
Finding your voice means discovering who you are – your dreams, desires, strength, boundaries, and interests – and expressing that to those in your life. It is about knowing who you are and being comfortable and strong in yourself. It is not about control. It is not about domination. It is about embracing all aspects of yourself and being fully you. Finding your voice allows you to engage in relationships in a deeply real and honest way.
Why is this so hard for women?
Few parents intentionally prevent their daughters from finding their voice, but few parents encourage it either. Like boundaries – the ability to confidently say yes or no to something – no one is ever taught how to do it. Furthermore, women often focus on relationships and can get caught in the cycle of caring for others or wanting to please people without stopping to evaluate who they are and what they need.
How do you do it?
The first step is to find someone who will support you. This may be a friend, coach/mentor, family member, counselor, or colleague. Finding your voice can be a daunting process, so you need to share the journey with someone who will cheer you on.
Next, figure out what is important to you. For some this will be easy, for others it will take some time. That does not matter. The important thing is that you think it through. Some find it helpful to journal their discoveries. Others like to talk it out with a friend. Find other women whose strength you admire to keep you headed in the right direction. Read books about people who have done interesting or inspiring things. Challenge yourself. Take risks. Explore new things.
Finally, verbalizing your thoughts and feeling to others. Start with those you feel comfortable with and then keep going. Finding your voice is ultimately about being fully you in all situations and with all people.
Couple things to remember
This can be a messy process, especially if it is new to you. You will make mistakes. Great. That is part of the growth process. You will come across too strong at times. Other times you will not speak up when you wish you had. That’s okay. Just keep going. Do not be afraid to ask forgiveness from others if you need to. Above all, be gentle with yourself.
You are unique. There is no one in the world like you. Do not be afraid to show your inner beauty and strength. Learning to become comfortable in your own skin is a precious gift you can give yourself and those around you.
Photo by thePhotoZoo CC BY 2.0.
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Published in the Tri-City TRIBUNE (Cozad, Nebraska) on February 26, 2015.
