Back to School: What I learned raising kids from kindergarten to high school graduation as a single mom.

I have navigated back-to-school for 15 years – 12 of those have been as a single mom. With every school year that has passed, I have learned and grown just as much as my 3 kids. Each year and childhood phase presented me with challenges: some proud moments and some soul crushing ones. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. As I am approaching the close of my back-to-school years, here is what I have learned:

1. It looks like other parents have their act together. This is an illusion. We are all figuring this out. Parents should support each other, not judge. This is a tough job—we all could use understanding and grace. Sometimes it is a victory that all your children have socks on…never mind matching ones.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Do not stress over what snack to bring when it’s your turn to contribute snack for school. I once brought wonder bread and water (In my mind I did not have my act together to have a healthy, well thought out snack option) but it turned out to be a hit with the kids! You are doing the best you can. Not sweating the small stuff will keep that in perspective.
3. Go on the field trip. Yep-the smelly nauseous bus ride will be awful. Your child will remember you were present on the trip. This is what matters most.
4. Do not worry if your child is “behind.” Kids learn and grow at different rates, and you may be surprised at their capacity for success.
5. You will feel judged for your kid’s behavior, positive or negative. All parents experience this.
6. Someday, you will miss the school supply list. It may seem like a chore now, but it is a short window of time. And someday you will miss buying the school supplies.
7. Middle school is rough for everyone – boys, girls, parents and teachers. Major transitions are happening as your child enters a new phase of childhood. Keep this in perspective when approaching these years. What happens for your child is not indicative of the future nor a reflection of past parenting. It is a season.
8. It is a high schoolers job to begin to separate from you and at the same time they need you most. Keep this in mind during this stage.
9. There is a lot of pressure for high school kids to know where their life is going. They will find their way. This is a time of panic for most parents. Breathe. You have done your job at this point-graciously give them space to figure it out.
10. Give yourself a big pat on the back for getting this far. As I said before—parenting is not a job for the faint of heart. We have all faced challenges we never knew were coming-be kind and supportive of one another.